Natalise - The China Doll Who Will Get You Love Drunk On Lemonade
pretty funny craigslist ad...
craigslist
The other day you walked in complaining that you couldn't find a job. I laughed. I mean, here I have a 23 year old, college educated, and pretty industrious (I might add) male, who can't seem to find a job.
Let me guess: you couldn't find a job because all the racist mexicans and blacks took all the work? {Yes I saw your posting on Craigs List "Rant and Rave"}. Or maybe it was because you couldn't stop partying long enough to say, um, fill out a job application?
You couldn't find a job...but you could get your asian girlfriend pregnant.
You couldn't find a job...but you could get arrested for selling marijuana.
You couldn't find a job...but you could use over 5,000 dollars of Credit Card cash-advances to throw a party in Las Vegas for all of your loser friends.
You couldn't find a job...but you could crash that C-class Mercedes your mother and I bought you trying to race an SL 65 {fucking idiot}.
You couldn't find a job...but you could run up 600 dollars in Credit Card debit on various porno sites {Mr. Chews Asian Beavers ring any bells???}
You couldn't find a job...but you could get caught trying to sell your mother's Louis Vuitton purse on Craigs List.
You couldn't find a job...but you could spend an hour of my life {which I will never get back} defending Hillary "Hitler" Clinton.
Seriously, you have two days to find a job and clear out. I'm not supporting you, or your girl friend any longer. As far as I'm concerned, I disown you, your girlfriend, your child, or any other person you've come in contact with: YOUR ARE DEAD TO ME UNTIL YOU GET A FUCKING DECENT JOB.
Don't...
-show up at any family events asking for money. If you do come, sit down, shut up, and don't even think about looking in the fridge.
-ask Grandma for anything more than a prayer. If you even so much as go near her house again I'll break your legs {oh wait, your drug dealer already broke them for you...fucking medical bills}
-email me, saying you are sorry. Sorry didn't do it, you did.
Do...
-get a job
-support your girlfriend
-support your child
-take a shower {yes, you are pretty dirty too}
Oh, and I posted this on Craiglist's List since you are on here so much looking through the "Personal Ads". Don't be surprised when the house lock is changed and your clothes are all over the front lawn.
Signed,
Your loving Dad {er, the guy who is kicking your pathetic ass out of my house}
PS Mom said don't bother writing; she's not interested in hearing from a loser.
PSS Oh yeah, and you're adopted. Forgot to mention that one when you turned 18.
damn pretty damn funny.
The other day you walked in complaining that you couldn't find a job. I laughed. I mean, here I have a 23 year old, college educated, and pretty industrious (I might add) male, who can't seem to find a job.
Let me guess: you couldn't find a job because all the racist mexicans and blacks took all the work? {Yes I saw your posting on Craigs List "Rant and Rave"}. Or maybe it was because you couldn't stop partying long enough to say, um, fill out a job application?
You couldn't find a job...but you could get your asian girlfriend pregnant.
You couldn't find a job...but you could get arrested for selling marijuana.
You couldn't find a job...but you could use over 5,000 dollars of Credit Card cash-advances to throw a party in Las Vegas for all of your loser friends.
You couldn't find a job...but you could crash that C-class Mercedes your mother and I bought you trying to race an SL 65 {fucking idiot}.
You couldn't find a job...but you could run up 600 dollars in Credit Card debit on various porno sites {Mr. Chews Asian Beavers ring any bells???}
You couldn't find a job...but you could get caught trying to sell your mother's Louis Vuitton purse on Craigs List.
You couldn't find a job...but you could spend an hour of my life {which I will never get back} defending Hillary "Hitler" Clinton.
Seriously, you have two days to find a job and clear out. I'm not supporting you, or your girl friend any longer. As far as I'm concerned, I disown you, your girlfriend, your child, or any other person you've come in contact with: YOUR ARE DEAD TO ME UNTIL YOU GET A FUCKING DECENT JOB.
Don't...
-show up at any family events asking for money. If you do come, sit down, shut up, and don't even think about looking in the fridge.
-ask Grandma for anything more than a prayer. If you even so much as go near her house again I'll break your legs {oh wait, your drug dealer already broke them for you...fucking medical bills}
-email me, saying you are sorry. Sorry didn't do it, you did.
Do...
-get a job
-support your girlfriend
-support your child
-take a shower {yes, you are pretty dirty too}
Oh, and I posted this on Craiglist's List since you are on here so much looking through the "Personal Ads". Don't be surprised when the house lock is changed and your clothes are all over the front lawn.
Signed,
Your loving Dad {er, the guy who is kicking your pathetic ass out of my house}
PS Mom said don't bother writing; she's not interested in hearing from a loser.
PSS Oh yeah, and you're adopted. Forgot to mention that one when you turned 18.
damn pretty damn funny.
About
Badge
© 2009 Created by Natalise on Ning. Create a Ning Network!
